alto did Something Clever

And the Universe Said, “That’s Such an Old Punchline. Tell us he miffed at and we’ll be surprised.”

Oliver “Shiny” Blakemore
2 min readOct 7, 2016


My mum says that only boring people get bored. In related news, scientifically speaking “boredom” is a survival tactic built into us by evolution. We’re designed to be suspicious of and discomfited by stagnation and inactivity, because we’re designed to understand that activity equates to survival.

The trouble is that we’re so damned “survived” now we don’t know how to respond to boredom anymore. We’ve got survival leaking out our ears. Can’t be bothered to pause and use our reasoning to figure it; all’s we know how to do be rollickin’ and bollockin’, and none of us knows a good idea when we reads it, because none of us needs to assess the idea for how well it helps tomorrow be a day when we don’t die. Relyin’ on not dyin’s become too par for the course. That’s our shortcoming, I reckon.


I’m proud of the followin’ bit of writing. I took a usual complaint by my caste — the writers, complaining about cheap attention-grabbing tricks — and I got a bit ranty about it, talkin’ about how cornerin’ attentions all kinds of noble for a writer to do.

Far as recommending other writers…

I fear I’m having trouble picking jus’ one. But, since I’m functionally dyslexic at mathematics and “numbers” and similar, as far as I can tell I’m having no issue.

  1. This one’s by the Notorious DCI. It’s about how reality hurts, but we need it anyway. Or I think that’s right…
  1. This one’s by Jason. Quite a skilled poet. He wrote a few sensuous lines for a friend who had to leave him.
  1. Dominique lighting some fire behind my eyes. She has some power and words to say for a difficult-to-grasp but prevalent disenfranchisement that’s happening right now.
  1. And j.s.lamb, accomplishing what poets ought to accomplish: causing mixed emotions. He’s writing about writing, and making the words touchable. Quite nice.



Oliver “Shiny” Blakemore

The best part of being a mime is never having to say I’m sorry.